Simply A Farmer’s Wife


Grab A Drink. This Is Gonna Be A Long One.

Okay, it’s been a while since I last updated.  Life has been crazy to say the least.  We have been going nonstop for about two weeks now and to be honest I’m completely and totally exhausted.   I need some time for me but I don’t think that’s going to happen for a while. 

Ashley is playing in TWO softball leagues.  So our weekly schedule looks something like this.  830-5 work, 700 game, 930 game, 11 get home, 1 go to bed.  Yes he has two games a night.  I get home in time to change clothes grab a bottle of water and get back in the car to travel to his first game and then get in the car to travel to the next game.  See with him playing two leagues the games aren’t at the same place.  I know y’all are thinking easy solution stay home but I love watching Ashley play.  And secretly I think he likes me there.

Needless to say I’m exhausted. 

Ashley’s grandmother is in the hospital.  Her organs are slowly shutting down and there is nothing left they can do for her.  She’s an amazing woman and we know that soon her time here on this Earth will end.   Losing her husband two weeks ago was hard on her.  Please keep her and his family in your prayers.  It’s so hard to see someone you love go through so much like she has. 

Okay, my weight loss saga.  Yeah, I’m getting motivated again.  I am determined to lose the weight.  I have to lose the weight.  I am miserable with my physical appearance.  The weight gain didn’t start until about 6 months after Parker’s passing.  I think the first 6 months I was so high from the meds that I didn’t know I was supposed to eat.  I slept most of the time and then I decided I wanted to be this damn martyr and try to go through the grief process without any assistance from anyone or anything.  B.A.D. idea people.  I suddenly became this emotional eater because I was home alone for about 14 hours a day and instead of doing something healthy I ate.  All the time.  Everything I could get my hands on.  And in some really sick way it made me feel better.  It wasn’t until my sister approached me about my weight gain that I even noticed something was wrong.  I don’t know how I was oblivious to the fact I was gaining weight at the steady rate I was.  I guess when your only child dies you just don’t give a crap.  When she died I felt like I had lost a huge part of who I was destined to be.  I wanted so bad to be a mother.  And in the  blink of an eye I had lost that opportunity or so I thought.  If only I knew then what I know now.  I found a few websites that helped with the weight gain issues but never took to heart the advice they gave until I decided one day that I was going to do Weight Watchers.  Heather Southwell (Bryce’s Mom) inspired me tons and Jenn Miller (Audrey’s Mom) did too with their amazing weight loss stories.  Heather did WW and Jenn did the Skinny Cow Challenge.   I think the most important thing for me to do is OWN my weight.  Not be ashamed of who I am.  Ashley said to me the other night that he loves me regardless because he loves what’s on the inside but he deserves to have his wife back.  Not the girl who sulks in her pity but someone who rises above it.  If talking about losing weight actually worked I’d be one skinny chick.  I found this great blog thanks to Cristin called Operation Skinny Bitch.  I joined the group and talk about inspirational ladies!  It’s so nice to know that there are tons of other women just like me trying to accomplish the same goals.  I found another blog called  My Journey to A Better Me  and she tracts her monthly weight loss (or gain) and provides pictures.  She’s quite inspirational.  I’m think I’m going to create a new blog just for my weight loss.  I’m really serious about this y’all.  I know I’ve done this song and dance before but I have to lose this weight.  I am ready for a new me!  I am ready to be this girl again….

This is what I looked like when Ashley and I started dating.  That was three years ago.  I know I can do it.  I know that my desire this time around is greater than  any other time.  So OSB here I come.  I’m updating my IPOD and I’m going to find the time to walk at least 3 miles a night or morning.  I’m going to make a change in my diet.  No more sweet tea, cokes, junk food.  No more eating past 7 at night.  No more lame excuses for why I’m overweight.  Please pray for me as I embark on this journey.  I have never been overweight before and so it’s something new to me.  Losing weight has never been an issue until two years ago.  I need some cheerleaders too because I’m needy like that.  So any volunteers?

This post is completely random so please forgive me for jumping from one topic to the next. 

There were two CDH babies born yesterday.  Baby Girl Reed as most of us know her was born yesterday at 2:58 pm!!  She weighs 6 lbs 8 oz and is 19 and 3/4 inches long.  Her name is Elliott Arcile Reed.  No pics yet and no update on her condition.  I am staying glued to her blog and as soon as I hear something I will let y’all know too. 

Baby Will was born yesterday too at 8:25 am.  Please check his blog for more info as Matt and Heather posted an update late last night.  His condition is not good but as we all know these babies are fighters and so often have proved many wrong. 

Keep Cassi and Brian (BGR’s parents) and Matt and Heather (Will’s parents) in your prayers as their CDH journey really begins. 

The foundation is going great.  We will have our next family The Myers  will move in to the house in a month.  We have the dedication at the end of September and then we are off to planning our launch party.  Please check the blog for more info on our current events.  There are a few going on in NC and one in TX. 

Life is really good right now for us.  Our crops are amazing, our dogs are good, wild but good.  We are thinking of purchasing another puppy but trying to decide if we are ready for late nights and potty training again.  P’s headstone should be in at the end of the month and we are excited about seeing it.  Still stings a bit but we’ll manage to find our way through that.  We are still working on the house (yeah never ending story) and truly the house should be a blog all her own. 

Well, that’s all folks.  I need to get some work done in the office.  My boss’ father passed away on Monday so it’s somewhat quite around here.  Please pray for his family.  Mr. Worth Hester was an amazing man and I am so glad that I had the opportunity to know him. 

Remember to keep us in your prayers and all CDH families.  And know that y’all are always in our thoughts and prayers as well!

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6 Comments so far
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I’m here for you, Jes!! I know when I lost weight the first time it was partly due to my neighbor who walked with me most nights, encouraged me to start running, and helped me with WW. E-mail anytime for encouragement, advice, or even to say “Help!”

Now that Emma is in school, going to the post office is on the list of things to do! 🙂 I’ll let you know when I finally get the box off so you can look for it.

Praying hard for those new babies. Prayers to your family as well.

John loves to play softball but hasn’t had a chance to in about 5 years; I know he really misses it. Go Ashley!! I always liked to go to games, too.

Comment by Kristyn

Jes,

First let me say that in the ‘skinny’ photo of you – you look too SKINNY!! 🙂 I think you look like a Goddess NOW, but if YOU are unhappy – then I’m a cheerleader! I can do that!

I recently lost 77 pounds in less than a year (I know – I hide too!) – and I have no clue how I did it. I cut out Pepsi (I never drank coffee – and I switched to diet Pepsi and lost 35 pounds in 3 months!). I assure you – if I can do that – you can do ANYTHING!

I used to think “Yep – this time I’m gonna do it,” _ “This time I’ll be tougher, I’m serious!!” but y’know the greatest lesson I learned in it all (I have been an emotional eater my entire LIFE – thank you poor self esteem for years!!) – and one day I just got so tired of the whole thing that I gave up. Yeah – I gave up. On myself. ME.

I relaxed my insides and my outsides started changing!!! People started asking me what I was doing – my BOSS asked (she’s a she). Pretty soon I could fit into size 12 stuff – and the last time THAT happened was HIGH SCHOOL! I in’t even work out (I hate that MORE) – but changing the way my BRAIN worked – worked! Who knew!

I started to HATE my friendship with food – after all, it’s kinda like the friend that parties too much and you go with them EVERY TIME – and always feel gross the next day because they’ve dragged you around barhopping all night. It’s your own fault – but you want it to change. I would eat myself stupid and then minutes later go “WTF did I do THAT for?”

So, I started subconsciously hating Mr. Lik O. Rish, Ms. Tortilla C. Hip and my former best friend Mrs. Choc. O. Late. I had to literally have a chat with myself daily about how they never benefitted me at all (besides feeling good while shovelling it in my face.). That was the easy part after awhile. I befriended veggies and fruit (formerly enemies!) and it wasn’t so bad. Now – it’s just is what it is. I feel better – I’m not SKINNY by far (yet!) but I feel better and that’s what counts.

Jes – you look fabulous at any weight but I know how it feels to carry around those extra pounds. I even remember checking the angle I was sitting at around the table with people so they didn’t see my 3 chins!! LMAO! I constantly tugged at my shirt so my ‘areas’ wouldn’t show. I wore clothes way too big for me – and still do because I don’t own any others!! LOL!

Things will change naturally as you grow (not in weight….in life). It will change because you are determined. It will change because we’re all behind you (not looking at your behind, I assure you!) – and we will all support you. You’ll find that the walking will make you want to avoid the junk food too….which is nice!

You haven’t lost any opportunity to be a mother – you ARE a mother, but I know what you mean. It’s not easy – but you are one stubborn American gal…..and you can do it!

I’m off to check out OSB – I may join up too! I don’t need to be super super SKINNY, but hey – the bitch part works for me!!

Huge hugs to you, Ashley & Parker – and the puppies! We love you guys!

Comment by risingangel

Holy crap – that was a long comment too – sorry Jes!

Comment by risingangel

What dedication you have…. going to all those games!! My butt would SO be planted in front of the TV and/or computer if Dennis played softball…

I can’t wait to see your ‘after’ picture looking just like that one you posted…no, you’ll look better, wiser, more beautiful!

I’m slow to start on the weight loss thing… I’ve never had to worry about my weight… I’m definitely not where I want to be or should be. Once Graham is in school I’ll be able to get more exercise in…

Good luck to you! I’ll see you over at OSB!!

Comment by Cristin

Holy moley – long post, but worth the read.

Comment by Kim Straton

Hi! I was surfing and found your blog post… nice! I love your blog. 🙂 Cheers! Sandra. R.

Comment by sandrar




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