Simply A Farmer’s Wife

Prayers Needed.
July 29, 2008, 3:13 pm
Filed under: Family, Prayer | Tags:

Ashley’s grandfather is in the ICU in a coma.  His kidneys have shut down and he has a severe case of pneumonia.  They do not expect him to make it so I am asking for prayers for Ashley’s family.  My mother-in-law, Opal is an amazing woman who has been caring for both of her ill parents for several years.  It is taking a toll on her and so please say a separate prayer for her please. 

We went to visit his grandfather this afternoon and will go back this evening.  Being in hospital settings is very difficult for Ashely and I and I suspect that it will never get easy for us.  I don’t mean to sound selfish but if you could muster up a little prayer for us too.  I worry mostly about Ashley. 

Thanks a ton y’all!

The Last Lecture.
July 28, 2008, 10:02 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

This is an amazing video.  You will need three things: a comfy seat, a good glass of wine and a box of kleenex.   Only watch if you are ready to have your life changed and if you cannot and will not be disturb for the next hour and a half.  I have ordered the book and cannot wait to get it.  I’ll hush now so you can watch.

Small Update.
July 27, 2008, 4:15 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , ,

So, I’ve been beyond busy since returning from Kings Mountain last weekend and I’m taking a break to update that I really don’t have the time to be doing.  I am running on pure adrenaline right now and I think if I sit too long I will fall asleep for days. 

The foundation is going great.  It’s a lot of work but the most rewarding thing either of us have ever done aside from having Parker.  We have been overwhelmed with emails, letters, phone calls and donations.  It is amazing how wonderfully knit the CDH community is.  I am so excited about the future of our foundation and what it will have to offer families of CDH.  We are working like crazy on Parker’s House so that it will be ready for the next family, Kellie, Brad and Baby Carter.   The amount of volunteers we’ve received is amazing!  We do have a wish list on the blog if you’d like to check it out and help us out some!  It takes $50 a day to keep Parker’s House going so if you can spare that we’d appreciate it. 

I have a new found addiction for the new show Hopkins.  I have yet to watch an episode without crying.   It’s just an amazing show with some amazing stories.  If you haven’t watched it yet you really should.  I also just ordered Tori Spelling’s new book sTORI Telling.  I cannot wait to get it and read the juice.  I watch her show on Oxygen and I love it.  She really is a neat person. 

Okay, back to work folks.  Gonna grab me some sweet tea and get back to working.

Looking Back.
July 18, 2008, 6:27 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: , , ,

So, when we started the foundation and we started Parker’s House I never imagined that my life would change in the magnitude that it was the day that I met April, Russell and Seth.  I remember our first visit with them.  It was at Parker’s House.  I felt an immediate connection to them and as we drove off I told Ashley that they would be lifelong friends.  Not the kind you see every once in a while but the kind you plan trips with and the kind you talk to all the time.  They are truly some of the most amazing people I know.  Their courage is indescribable.  Their love for each other evident.  Their faith in God everlasting.  When I went to the hospital to see them and Seth I had butterflies all the way there.  Not the good kind either.  The kind where I felt like I was going to throw up.   I knew that I needed to be strong for them.  I promised myself I wouldn’t break down.  I wouldn’t cry.  I even asked Parker to help me.  I was in the parking garage and I said a prayer.  I know that God heard me because I felt this amazing gust of wind and I knew it was Parker.  He had sent one of my favorite angels to comfort me.  I walked in the PICU and I felt this numbness start to come over my whole body.  April knew something I think because she put her hand behind my back.  This woman who’s child lay fighting for his life was comforting me.  It wasn’t supposed to be like that.  I was supposed to be strong for her.  I immediately started crying when I saw him.  For many reasons though.  He was gorgeous and perfect in every way.  He opened his eye and looked at me.  It gave me chills.  When I touched him he moved and I remembered never seeing Parker move.  Never seeing her eyes.  Never seeing her do anything except lie exceptionally still.  My heart was heavy for the Van Dykes and for myself.  I know that it’s selfish of me to think of myself during a time like that but how do you not.  I cried myself to sleep that night in the hotel thinking of Seth and Parker.  Praying that God would spare his life and heal his body so that April and Russell could take their son home with them.  Reliving Parker’s death isn’t easy.  It tears my heart a part all over again and I find myself in that same dark place that I was two years ago.  I questioned whether i needed to continue with the foundation or just get out while I still could.  I didn’t think I could continue to be connected to families and CDH babies and walk away not scarred.  I knew that each time a family moved in my heart would break all over again and I would have to relive Parker’s death.  Was the reward worth the pain? 

And then it hit me.  The day Seth passed.  It all hit me like a ton of bricks.  I was given Parker for a reason and it wasn’t to quit.  It wasn’t to lie in some dark hole and feel sorry for myself.  It was to help families like our own.  To change the face of CDH as we know it.  I know what my purpose is now.  I know what I have to do and I have never wanted it more than I do now.  Not just for my beautiful little girl but for every single baby who has been and will be born with CDH.  I wanted to bring to her home.  I dreamed of the day I would bring her home.  That day never happened but I’ve been given this amazing gift because of her.  Her life has touched so many people and her story is one I will tell forever.  Parker will live on not only in my heart but through our foundation.  My plans for her ended before they ever began but now I have new plans for her and her memory. 

I know that this journey will mean reliving the worst moments and days of my life but it also means reliving the greatest moments of my life too.  It means honoring the one person who I love the most.  Parker.  So is the reward worth the pain?  Absolutely it is. 

Tomorrow Ashley and I will travel to Kings Mountain for Seth’s funeral.  Please continue to keep his family in your prayers and say one for us too.  This family has a long journey ahead of them.

Baby Seth is an Angel.
July 16, 2008, 8:57 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

He passed early this morning.  Please keep his family in your thoughts and prayers.